How to Be a Grown-up by Emma McLaughlin

Author:Emma McLaughlin
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Atria Books

Chapter Eleven

* * *

As the elevator chugged up to JeuneBug in its ominous way Monday morning, I decided I had hit on a brilliant plan. I was going to call, pretending to be that woman from Audi I’d met at Kathryn’s house, and ask Taylor for the revenue numbers. I was going to wear a false moustache, auto-tune my voice, and use Claire’s phone, which came up blocked. I was going to move to Uruguay and open an ecohotel. No, not an ecohotel. A coffee farm? Like Karen Blixen? I was going to—

The door slid open to audible sobbing. Oh good, audible sobbing. I can get in on that.

I crept through the bullpen where everyone who had their headphones off was awkwardly frozen, while those around them tapped on obliviously.

Across from a stoic-looking Kimmy, Taylor sat at her desk, ugly crying.

“Can I help?” I asked. Because I was a mom. It was a reflex. Better than my old mom reflex, which would have been to shove my boob in her mouth.

“Gah—gah,” Taylor spluttered.

“Gavin’s in love with someone else,” Kimmy said, passing over another tissue with a crown embossed on it.

“And she’s, like, forty!” Taylor coughed out.

“It’s repulsive,” Kimmy agreed.

“Did he say who she was?” I asked, bracing myself for Taylor’s stiletto through my forehead.

“No, just that she has kids,” Taylor spat, a clump of false eyelashes dangling.

“It sounds awful,” I said comfortingly. “I should get back to—” I pointed over my shoulder.

They both nodded.

At my desk I had improbably matching texts waiting for me, the same word from both Gavin and Kathryn:

“Well?”

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